


Phone Call

by TheonSugden



Category: EastEnders
Genre: Gen, M/M, Mentions of Character Death, Mentions of homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:31:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8463655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonSugden/pseuds/TheonSugden
Summary: As Ben copes with his father's latest rejection and an upcoming liver transplant, he calls Pam for support.





	

“Who is this?”

“It-It’s Ben. Ben Mitchell.”

“Ah. Young Ben. Sorry. Mim has a terrible connection.”

“How...how are ya?”

“Fit as a fiddle. Pam watches every bite I eat - course she always did. We’re thinkin’ of goin’ somewhere with a beach for Christmas. Told her I’m gonna buy a Speedo just for her.” 

“I bet she loved that.” 

“Oh it made her laugh so hard she started sneezing.”

“Wish I’d seen it. I wish...I wish Paul had too.”

“I...I’m gonna go get Pam now, alright?”

“Sure.” 

 

....

“Who is this?” 

“Ben.” 

“Only Ben I know lives somewhere in Wales now - wait...Paul’s Ben?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I was. Am.”

“Well, I’ll get Pam then. Oh - has your father died? Pam told me about him. Is that why you’re calling? Did Billy die?”

“...no.” 

“That’s good then. It’s been a bad year. So many terrible things. Pam tells me not to worry so much but...”

“It’s been a bad year.” 

“Exactly. Just don’t tell Pam, right? She - she needs to be happy.” 

“I know.” 

...

“Ben! I wasn’t expecting this!”

“Sorry. I’ll -”

“Don’t be sorry! I’m so happy you called. I was just in Mim’s garden. She never has known how to take care of things.”

“Won’t keep ya long.” 

“Keep me as long as you want. I don’t have to do anything anymore. I’m climbing the walls! Paul always told me to slow down, so he’s the only reason I’m not out prowling the streets.” 

“I...I miss him.” 

“Oh, Ben. I miss him too. We all do.”

“I mean - I knew I would, but last few days...it...I dunno...it really hurts.” 

“Have you talked to Jay?” 

“Yeah, but he’s workin’ all hours.” 

“What about your mum? She called me last week, about the transplant.”

“Course she did.” 

“I-I didn’t want to butt my nose in. Les choked on his tea when I told him that, but I’m trying. I’m really trying.”

“Cheers. For - for understanding.”

“I wish Paul could be with you, Ben. I had my time. Not enough, but years. You - you never did.” 

“Had more than I deserved.” 

“Now that’s just not true! I won’t hear a word of it!”

“Sorry.”

“You should be. You made Paul happy and that’s what matters most. You made him a happy man.”

“I...I tried.” 

“And you succeeded.”

“I’ve just been tryin’ to - tryin’ to think of what he’d want me to do. And I know, I’m pretty sure I know he’d want me to do the transplant. Dad - Dad hates me - I’ve just gotten used to it. Just about, anyway. It ain’t really about him. It’s about me. Me and - me and Paul.” 

“Ben, if you change your mind, you aren’t letting Paul down. You aren’t letting anyone down.” 

“I know, Pam. It’s just what I haveta do. Feels right. I don’t care - I don’t care if he leaves me high and dry...ain’t the first time. I’ve never done the right thing - good thing. If I do now, maybe it means something. Maybe - maybe there’s a reason I’m still here.” 

“Oh, Ben.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’ta said all that. Just - nobody to say it to, y’know?”

“You have us. Both of us. If you ever need a place to stay - Mim’s putting us up while we look for a place, but she has a sturdy sofa. Never did my Laurie or my...my Paul any harm. Or my Les. Or if you - if you want us to be there when -”

“Nah. I’m sure Mum’ll be prowling outside the door. Spare ya the teeth marks.”

“She loves you. A mother’s love.” 

“I-I can’t talk about that, Pam.” 

“I understand.” 

“I just - I gotta go, but I just wanted to say...thanks, for always - for what you did for Paul. He was so good.”

“He was an angel. He’d make a face right now, he’d say he was about as perfect as my gran’s old table that barely stays upright...but to me he was perfect. And he loved you, Ben. He loved you more than anything.” 

“I know - I know it ain’t easy. Dealin’ with someone being...being gay.” 

“People always told me that. How noble I was for loving Paul ‘in spite of’ or ‘even though.’ And I worried - I worried for him every day, just like I worry for you, and so many others - but I didn’t love Paul in spite of anything. I loved him because he was gay. That made him who he was. It was so important. ‘Oh, I’d love him no matter what!’ That’s just silly. He was gay and he was special. Just like you are, Ben. Never forget that. Promise me.” 

“I-I’ll try.” 

“Please.” 

“Pam...I really gotta go now.”

“Call any time. All I have to go is fix a brew and I can chat ‘til your ear falls off.”

“Thanks.”

“Thank you, Ben. Good...goodbye.”

“Goodbye.” 


End file.
